How to Build Unshakable Confidence (without being arrogant)
Welcome to the July Newsletter!
It’s my birthday month and I’m incredibly excited to share more on a topic that has been a huge focus for me since recovering from my last burnout… ✨Confidence✨
What is Confidence & Why Should We Care?
First things first, what exactly is confidence and why should we care? Confidence is that rock-solid belief in your abilities and knowing that you can achieve your goals. Our confidence shapes our behavior and profoundly influences how we tackle challenges, make decisions, and inspire others. It's also not something you're born with; rather, it can be developed and nurtured over time.
In my experience, confidence isn’t innate and it’s not a linear journey; it’s something I've had to actively and intentionally cultivate with each experience, and in multiple areas of my life, over time. Burnout is an experience that can significantly erode confidence by undermining one's belief in their abilities, reducing motivation, and increasing self-doubt, and boy did I experience this after my burnout in 2020. While I’ve recovered from my burnout, building confidence is still a focus for me as I continue to build my business and the life of my dreams.
Because, you see, confidence isn’t just crucial for entrepreneurs, business owners, and effective leaders; it’s a cornerstone of wellbeing as well. It boosts emotional resilience, motivation, and enriches relationships, while also reducing stress and rates of depression (Source: APA, 2020), and research indicates that confident individuals tend to adopt healthier behaviors, enhancing both physical and mental health overall.
Cultivating and growing your confidence isn't just about being a better leader or business owner, it is a form of self-care!
Confronting Self-Doubt
I recently submitted one of my largest corporate coaching proposals yet (EEK!). Despite glowing feedback from our year-and-a-half partnership, I found myself questioning my skills, expertise, and the value I bring to my clients.
Throughout the process, I made a concerted effort to confront my self-doubt head-on by taking proactive steps:
Seeking Mentorship: Sharing my vulnerability and gaining diverse perspectives was invaluable. Even when I already had the answers, discussing them with mentors increased my confidence to take action. A huge thank you to Jesse, Donna, Kerry, Kim, Jenny, Rachel, Robert, and so many more! Your support means the world to me.
Practicing Positive Affirmations: Daily affirmations, especially when self-doubt crept in, helped me create new neurological pathways that serve me better. I focused on listening to my internal narrative and distinguishing facts from fear.
Revisiting Past Successes: Reflecting on previous achievements boosted my confidence and self-efficacy. If you don’t already have a brag book folder, I highly recommend it. Document everything from your smallest success to your biggest achievement. Mine includes quotes from mentors, clients, and personal notes on accomplishments, both internal and external.
Listening to Empowering Music: Research shows that upbeat music releases dopamine, enhancing well-being and self-assurance. Rhythmic, energetic tracks can also increase motivation and resilience. Check out my Thriving Spotify Playlist if you want to feel a little more of this:
Oh, and if you're on the edge of your seat regarding my proposal, I'm thrilled to share that my persistence paid off! The client approved the proposal, reinforcing my belief in the power of confidence to drive success and growth.
Despite many moments of uncertainty, I maintained belief in my abilities using these strategies and a whole lot of self-compassion and grace. This experience has underscored the importance of continuous self-reflection and deliberate practice in building and maintaining confidence and trust in ourselves, regardless of the challenges we face.
Whatever challenge you're confronted with right now, I know you can get through it! I hope these tips help you in actively and intentionally building confidence in yourself because you deserve it!
Cultivating Confidence with Humility
Ok, ok, so we know confidence is important, we know it can be cultivated and built up over time, but confidence is often misunderstood and what if I come across as arrogant? I don’t know about you, but this is a fear that has blocked me from growing my own self-confidence, and I don’t think I’m alone!
This LI commenter said it perfectly, and I knew I needed to go into more detail because I’m assuming, if you’re here, you don’t want to show up as arrogant (we’ve all experienced that manager or individual), so let’s start with understanding the distinction between confidence and arrogance:
Confidence is rooted in a realistic belief in one's abilities and accomplishments, while
Arrogance often manifests as an exaggerated sense of superiority or entitlement.
Arrogance often stems from insecurity rather than genuine confidence. People may appear arrogant as a defense mechanism to mask their insecurities or feelings of inadequacy. They might overcompensate by projecting an exaggerated sense of superiority or entitlement to gain validation or control in social or professional situations. Therefore, while arrogance may superficially resemble confidence, it typically arises from a lack of genuine self-assurance and a deeper need for validation or control.
True confidence, on the other hand, is grounded in that realistic assessment of one's abilities and accomplishments, coupled with humility and respect for others. Confident individuals do not feel the need to assert dominance or belittle others to feel secure in their skills or position. Developing authentic confidence involves cultivating self-awareness, acknowledging strengths and weaknesses, and fostering empathy and respect for others' perspectives.
So, we know it’s essential to cultivate humility alongside confidence, as humility allows us to acknowledge our limitations, learn from others, empathize with different perspectives, and improve relationships. But how do we actually do it? Check out these tips to practice alongside your confidence building journey.
By balancing confidence with humility, you not only enhance your personal effectiveness but also contribute positively to team dynamics and organizational culture. Confidence rooted in humility allows for genuine connection, continuous improvement, and sustainable success.
Building Genuine Confidence: Continued Learnings
To boost your confidence, start by setting small, achievable goals and celebrate each accomplishment. Practice positive self-talk and visualize success, whether it's excelling in a presentation or leading your team effectively. Prioritize continuous learning and self-care to build a resilient and lasting confidence.
This month, we’ve shared three insightful posts to help you continue your journey toward greater confidence. Whether you're looking to boost or inspire confidence, better understand the role of body language, or gain more confidence in your decision-making, these posts are here to support you:
Dive into these resources and empower yourself to grow with confidence!
Do You Need Any Help or Support?
Maybe you're doing great without any additional assistance, and if that's you - KEEP GOING! If you're reading this feeling a bit overwhelmed or like you need some support, I support my coaching clients with the following:
Grow or Enhance Self-Confidence: Coaching builds self-awareness and clarifies strengths, enabling leaders to leverage their abilities confidently.
Improve Communication Skills: Coaching fosters effective communication, empowering leaders to articulate ideas, inspire teams, and navigate conflicts constructively.
Improve Decision-Making Skills: Coaches support leaders in honing their decision-making abilities, considering diverse perspectives and making informed choices with confidence.
Increase Emotional Intelligence: Coaching develops emotional intelligence, enhancing leaders' ability to understand and manage emotions in themselves and others, crucial for fostering productive relationships.
Enhance Leadership Presence: Coaching helps cultivate a compelling leadership presence, conveying credibility, authenticity, and influence.
Prepare for Career Advancement: By developing leadership competencies, coaching prepares individuals for higher responsibilities and career progression.
Empower & Motivate Your Team: Effective coaching improves leaders' ability to motivate and engage teams, fostering a positive work environment and achieving organizational goals.
Improve Conflict Resolution Skills: Coaching equips leaders with strategies to manage conflicts constructively, promoting collaboration and maintaining team morale.
Improve Strategic Thinking Skills: Coaches help leaders develop strategic thinking skills, enabling them to envision the future, set clear goals, and navigate organizational challenges with confidence.
Cultivate Personal & Professional Growth: Ultimately, coaching supports holistic growth, empowering leaders to achieve their full potential personally and professionally.
If you’re ready to explore leadership/executive coaching, I’d love to chat with you in a personalized strategy session to identify your goals and areas for improvement and see if I’m the right fit. Feel free to reply to this email with “I’m interested in coaching” to learn more or book a time to chat with me here.
Maybe you’re not ready for coaching, that’s totally fine too! Follow me on LinkedIn for more insights and valuable resources! Next month’s theme is all about decision-making in leadership!
