Fight, Flight, Freeze… & Fawn

Alright, so… what is the stress response?

Many of us have learned or heard about the “fight, flight, freeze” response, and that if an individual is experiencing something stressful, this response can be activated. What I didn’t know was how to CONTROL it, until NOW!

Have you ever had that moment where you feel totally prepared for something, but then the moment you stand up on stage, or in front of your company founders, you freeze and forget everything you wanted to say, or you feel a deep desire to run away? Maybe your hands are sweaty, or your heart is racing, or you experience brain fog (this is totally not a past personal story - HA!). That is the stress response activating – it’s your body’s attempt to protect you from a perceived threat. This instinctual emergency reaction system is designed to keep us safe in emergency situations, however what our brains and bodies deem as an emergency may be inhibiting us from moving forward or growth in some aspect. (What is something that you feel like your stress response has held you back from? Definitely public speaking for me!)

As one can imagine, the stress response was particularly useful for our ancestors to respond quickly by escaping (flight) or defending (fight) when a predator is approaching. This evolutionary response is still deeply embedded within our bodies and brain even though most of us aren’t running from bears or other predators on a regular basis (unless you’re my cousin and live in Alaska – she’s fine btw), but our stress response will still activate in situations that our brain deems as unsafe (due to past experience, trauma, or instinct), such as my personal public speaking example above. 

So what’s actually happening when the stress response is activated?

The part of our brain that stores memories and makes decisions (Limbic System) will essentially turn off so you can quickly react to the danger in front of you. As you can imagine, this also impacts our thoughts, beliefs and behaviors when consistently activated. 

When you start to notice the stress response and when it is activated, you will start to be able to identify unwanted feelings, emotions, and behaviors that you’d like to adjust in time (it takes time - speaking from experience). 

The FIGHT Response

When healthy, the fight response can allow an individual to assert themselves and their boundaries. However, when unhealthy (ie. when activated as a trauma response), the fight response is active self-preservation that pushes someone to reactively move towards conflict with anger and aggression due to being in a state of fear. Someone experiencing this reaction may clench their fists, feel a knot in their stomach, be argumentative, yelling, or physical aggression.  

The FLIGHT Response

This response shows up as avoidant behavior. When healthy, the flight response could be walking away in an instance where you’re being catcalled on the street. However, as a trauma response, this could look like pure isolation, not wanting to go outside or hang out with friends. Someone experiencing this response may avoid interactions with others, or will stay busy as a way to avoid uncomfortable feelings. (Where are my fellow work-a-holics at?!)

The FREEZE Response

This response, when healthy, allows one to slow down, assess the situation in detail to determine the best next action. When unhealthy, the freeze response manifests in dissociation and immobilizing behaviors; it could be a loss of words, daydreaming, having a hard time being present, lots of sleep, and feeling numb. Someone experiencing this response may feel frozen, unable to move, or detached from reality in an attempt to find emotional safety. It’s basically the equivalent of temporary paralysis and disconnection from your body to prevent further stress. 

The FAWN Response

Now, I don’t know about you, and I’m no doctor, but I had absolutely no idea that this part of the stress response existed, however I resonate more with this one than any of the others!  This response, at its core, is all about people-pleasing and prioritizing people above all else (including one’s authentic self) by doing whatever they want to diffuse conflict and receive their approval. Many people exhibiting this stress response don’t feel seen by others and may feel eclipsed by the people around them. 

So What Do We DO With This Information?

Supporting mental and physical health helps individuals to forge a new path forward to cultivate growth through recognition and management of responses, behaviors, and emotions in alignment with personal values.

The first step is recognition of how your unique stress response system works, start to identify or simply be aware of how it is impacting you, and decide if it’s worth it to train your brain to remove undue stress in your life and increase overall authentic joy and fulfillment.

If you have been in a chronic state of stress, remember that showing yourself grace, kindness, and compassion is also incredibly important! You have been doing what is needed to survive. It will take time to unlearn some of the behaviors, it can take 3-4 years to fully resolve burnout and that is OK, but you can take action NOW and CONSISTENCY is key!

And Remember…

The first step is NOTICING! #cultivateyourmindbodyconnection #thrivemindset #thrivenotsurvive